By Ben Pensant
‘Hi @TheresaMay, in case you hadn’t noticed, Donald Trump is promoting British Neo-Nazis, do you have anything to say whatsoever?’
This tweet was sent last month by Owen Jones, hours after Donald Trump had shocked the world by unexpectedly doing something idiotic on Twitter. Within 24 hours The Wicked Witch of Downing Street had released a statement condemning President Pussy-Grab, terrified that if she remained silent OJ might demand she comment on something equally earth-shattering, like a footballer’s wife eating a bowl of hippo bell-ends on live television.
But forget our useless PM, whose sole purpose is keeping Number Ten’s executive shit-house gleaming in anticipation of the day Jezza evicts her and her four-eyed hubby. (I’ll say one thing for Tory women, they may be evil but they’re bloody handy with a bog-brush.) No, this is about moral consistency and the way progressives like Owen have thrown it under the bus, along with equality, free speech, universal human rights and everything else they abandoned years ago.
Because it’s a measure of Owen’s self-awareness that he condemns Trump for promoting British Neo-Nazis despite spending two years cheerleading for a man with a history of promoting Palestinian Neo-Nazis. And this lax attitude to consistency is everywhere among modern liberals, especially on Twitter. Take spoof newsman Jonathan Pile, who used to treat all politicians with contempt and delight in skewering left and right. All that changed around election time when he became a one-man PR machine for Labour, adoringly re-tweeting Jezza’s every word and lauding him as the beret-clad messiah he obviously is.
Needless to say, Pile gleefully attacked Trump’s Britain First mishap, somewhat ironically considering in June the funnyman re-tweeted an anti-Semitic Corbynite fond of posting memes alleging the Jews planned 9/11 and faked the moon landings. Fortunately Jonathan did what all Jezzabels do when faced with such smears and ignored them. Because anyone who thinks the knuckle-dragging racists of Britain First are remotely comparable to a principled leftist who once said ‘a Zionist would rape his own mother for an inch of Palestine’ needs serious help.
As do the shameful right-wingnuts who recently turned on Gary Lineker for re-tweeting a cleverly-edited video depicting Israeli soldiers brutalising Palestinian children. In a brazen attempt to deflect from the damning footage, Zio troublemakers focused on the fact that Lineker was re-tweeting Ben White, an amiable progressive with a proud history of defending holocaust denial and violence against Jews. Yes, this is now considered a bad thing.
Luckily, liberal Twitter rallied around Gary, proving there are certain circumstances when it’s perfectly okay for a rich man off the telly to re-tweet a misleading video from a bigoted source. Indeed, the same people who call one rich man an evil racist will passionately support the other rich man provided it’s Israel being demonised and not Muslims.
As you’d expect, Lineker’s explanation was simple: he didn’t know who White was but it didn’t matter because the video was still ‘sickening’ regardless. Which is a valid explanation. Apart from when Trump uses it. Because in his case it wasn’t just the source that was offensive but the content. Which is why they were roundly described as ‘anti-Muslim’ videos: it wasn’t just Britain First who were racist but the footage itself. And as every progressive knows, even saying a Muslim has done something wrong is inherently Islamophobic: just look at the disturbing way the media spent the whole of 9/11 talking abut 9/11 when plenty of other newsworthy stuff was going on that day.
Thankfully, Owen Jones needed no such excuses when he publicised a MEND event in October as he knew plenty about the bigots he was re-tweeting. For despite Owen regularly condemning the far-right, there are times when enabling and supporting extremists isn’t just acceptable it’s vital. And if you don’t you’re a racist. Or worse, a ‘melt’.
Of course, the idea that not supporting the far-right implies racism can be confusing. But you need only look at the history of Britain’s next Prime Minister to join the dots. Because the Dear Leader’s sparkling career is practically a step-by-step guide to the nice parts of the far-right. Indeed, Corbyn was metaphorically re-tweeting the far-right when Trump was just a twinkle in a TV executive’s eye.
But now more than ever, with far-right Twitter accounts disappearing faster than George Galloway’s botox fund, it’s vital to remember who the good far-right guys are. (They’re easy to spot on social media: their names tend to be written in foreignish and they haven’t been banned yet.) And with more battles to come in 2018, we need our ideological weapons cocked and loaded at all times. So here, constant reader, is my Winterville gift, a rundown of the most popular far-right groups it’s okay to like:
Far-right anti-Semitic terrorists who carry out suicide bombings, fire rockets at civilians and have a charter calling for the genocide of Jews worldwide. Their political wing, while no less extreme, are less pro-actively stab-happy due to having their hands full counting money, imprisoning gays, threatening trade unionists and shooting protesters. Which, of course, they’re forced to do because of Israeli apartheid or something.
But their government has still boasted a wide range of eccentric Ministers, such as Adallah Darbu, who calls Jews a ‘foreign bacteria’, Marwen Abu Ras, who believes they are ‘behind every catastrophe on the face on the earth’, and Ahmad Bar, who thinks the best way to engage with Jews is to ‘kill them all, without leaving a single one’
All in all, they’re so far-right they make Britain First look like the Natural Law Party. But they’re also brown-skinned Muslims and enemies of Israel. Which is why Corbyn thinks they’re ‘dedicated to peace and social justice’, angrily denies they’re a terrorist group and never condemns their violent ideology. See how easy it is?
The Islamic Republic of Iran
A shining beacon of anti-imperialism, this far-right theocracy has enchanted leftists for decades. As well as banning music, persecuting journalists and forcing women to wear headscarves, the proud regime also hang homosexuals from cranes and love dishing out fatwas to blasphemers, such as novelist Salman Rushdie, put under house arrest in 1989 after Ayatollah Hogmanay took umbrage to an offensive book he hadn’t read.
Rushdie escaped detection and still peddles his racist trash to this day, though the same can’t be said for the various publishers and translators of the book who were murdered. Another recent death sentence-recipient was Islamophobic ‘comedian’ Barry David, though this was nothing new as pretty much everyone with David’s heritage has a fatwa on their heads.
Happily, none of this has ever stopped polemicists like Comrade Milne and John Shight lauding this far-right theocracy. And it certainly never stopped Jezza speaking at an event in 2014 celebrating the regime’s 35th anniversary. Or pocketing thousands for hosting a lively phone-in on Iran’s propaganda channel Press TV, where callers spoke passionately about how much they hated Israel, Jews and Israeli Jews.
The Islamic Human Rights Commission
One of several far-right Islamist groups (MEND, CAGE) with a knack for appealing to liberals who would run a mile from such bigotry if it came from white non-Muslims, the IHRC earn top billing due to the fact that they throw by far the best party.
They are loyal to Iran and keen supporters of Hezbollah, the brave Lebanese resistance who first enchanted mainstream leftists in 2006 when pram-pushing middle-class liberals attended anti-war protests waving ‘We Are All Hezbollah’ banners, blissfully unaware that the freedom fighters they were pledging solidarity with were about as progressive as David Duke.
But the IHRC are nothing if not equal opportunities bigots, so despite their ties to Shia Iran they’ll happily break bread with their Sunni adversaries if it means sticking it to the west. Hence their 2015 Islamophobe Of The Years awards ceremony, a riotous night where they awarded top prize to the Charlie Hebdo staff. A month after 12 of them were shot dead by jihadists.
So it will surprise no-one to learn that the Dear Leader is a huge fan, saying on TV that the IHRC ‘represent all that is good about Islam’ and being a longstanding supporter of their annual hate-fest…
Al Quds Day
…Or at least he used to be until he became Labour leader and decided it might be wise to stuff his past appearances into the nearest memory hole and deny all knowledge of the far-right event’s existence. Hence, despite their London march attracting leftists from far and wide, it’s roundly ignored by high-profile Corbynites, particularly Owen Jones, who spent the weekend of this year’s bash showing solidarity with striking cinema ushers, moaning about Henry Kissinger giving a lecture in London and tweeting unironically about the far-right. (The bad far-right, not the Islamist one, obvs).
Still, despite pretending it wasn’t happening I’m sure OJ and Jezza were there in spirit, if not disguises. And it was quite a day, the highlight an impassioned speech by the IHRC’s Nazim Ali, in which he blamed Zionists for Grenfell, accused Israel of being in league with ISIS and claimed the right to Jewish self-determination was a ‘fascist ideology’. Stirring stuff, and everything you’d expect from the compere of that legendary 2015 awards ceremony, where he famously quipped that the Charlie Hebdo staff ‘couldn’t make it’ to collect their award (!).
Needless to say, before Labour put a gagging order on anyone even mentioning Kill The Jews Day, Corbyn was an enthusiastic supporter, appearing and giving rousing speeches. No such careful reluctance from the rest of the regressive left, who attend with gusto every year and proudly tweet photos of themselves hobnobbing with people who hate them.
People like Raed Salah, the far-right Israeli Arab banned from entering Britain in 2011 after it came to light he’d funded Hamas and had numerous convictions relating to anti-Semitism, terrorism, and anti-Semitic terrorism. If that doesn’t tell you the kind of freedom fighter we’re talking about, he also thinks the Jews were behind 9/11, believes in The Elder Protocols Of Zion and The Franklin Prophecy and three years ago gave a stirring speech predicting that one day Jerusalem would ‘become the capital of the global caliphate’. (Is there any dream Trump hasn’t scuppered?)
So it makes perfects sense that in 2012 Corbyn called him ‘an honoured citizen who represents his people very well’ and invited him for tea and biscuits at the House of Commons.
Similarly, far-right Muslim convert Ibrahim Hewitt is equally popular with regressives. During his time as headmaster of the Al Aqsa school in Leicester he annoyed Islamophobes by segregating children and banning music lessons, no doubt earning props from Hamas, those champions of social justice who Hewitt has met on numerous occasions through Interpal, his peaceful Islamist charity. In addition, during a Newsnight appearance in 2014 he condoned stoning women to death for adultery, and once wrote a book which he called homosexuality and ‘abominable practice’ and compared gays to paedophiles.
All things considered, you can see exactly why a LGBT/women’s rights supporter like Jezza would call Hewitt ‘a very good friend who I know extremely well’ and join the amiable bigot on trips to Gaza to chill with the Absolute Boys of Hamas.
Speaking of which, there are few Boys more Absolute than The Iraqi Resistance, that principled coalition of far-right Ba’athists and far-right Jihadists who, as George Galloway put it, ‘wrote the names of their towns and cities in the stars’ by carrying out suicide bombings on innocent people. Unsurprisingly, they had the full support of Corbyn’s Anyone But The West Coalition, demonstrating their passion for democracy and socialism by backing courageous insurgents with a penchant for blowing up polling stations and murdering trade unionists.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Surely no liberal could defend the people listed above? And in a sane world, you’d be right. But desperate times call for hypocritical measures, which is why the best bet is to put these treacherous thoughts from your mind and throw all your weight behind the left-wing fascists regressives love so much. Because let’s face it, from Stalin to Castro and beyond there are multiple socialist dictators to choose from, with much greater numbers and way cooler uniforms than their far-right equivalents.
Be they brown or white, far-left or far-right, the point of these groups is to control and kill people. It doesn’t matter what side of the fence they sit on, as long as they blend that totalitarian urge with a healthy dollop of anti-westernism they can murder as many civilians as they like. So the fact that Muslims are the regressive left’s victims du jour is in no way compromised by its previous support for the Serbian generals who murdered thousands of Muslims.
Because the suffering of innocents at the hands of allies is to be ignored at all costs. As Stop The War’s Lindsay German put it when anti-regime Iranians were ejected from a Hands Off Iran protest in 2012: ‘The Iranian government is a matter for the Iranian people. We here in the West have one duty: to oppose our own regime’. A duty she wasn’t keen on affording the Iranians who turned up to do just that and had their flags pulled down for their trouble. (Needless to say, the Hezbollah flags remained present throughout.)
And for anyone wondering what this has to do with Jezza? Well, he was standing next to Ms German the whole time. Though if you’re one of those Corbynites who’d prefer to believe he wasn’t and his presence was a lie invented by the Tory press that’s totally cool too. Because as the last two years have shown, the most reliable way to counter smears about Corbyn’s support for fascists is to plead ignorance, mumble ‘what about Saudi Arabia’?, claim your opponent is a Zionist shill and insist any incriminating evidence was planted by Mossad. All of which gives the Dear Leader a free pass to come out with the most principled hypocrisy this side of his own shadow cabinet and still be lauded as the most honest politician in town.
‘I hope our government will condemn far-right re-tweets by Donald Trump. They are abhorrent, dangerous and a threat to our society’
Oh, Jeremy. Don’t ever change.