By Ben Pensant

Pop Quiz:

Who harassed a marginalised WOC for supporting someone who believes Jews want to turn black men gay?

Who smeared PM Corbyn as an antisemite just because he was a member of an antisemitic Facebook group?

Who accused the Dear Leader of being a Putin stooge before sneakily making him appear more Russian by digitally altering his iconic Lenin cap to make it look slightly blacker?

And who staged a terrorist attack in a Sainsbury’s carpark which used Russian nerve gas, targeted a former Russian agent, and deployed decidedly Russian tactics that couldn’t be more Russian if a signed photo of Putin straddling a unicorn in nothing but a cossack hat was left at the crime scene?

If it isn’t blindingly obvious, the answer is The Zionist lobby, that multi-tentacled diabolical goylem controlling the BBC, CNN, IBM, REM and the so-called International Space Station which is actually on a private beach in Tel Aviv. (You think it’s a coincidence that the spaceman off The Big Ben Theory just happens to be a friend of Saul? Yeah, right.)

And boy, have they been busy bees, with #WomensMarch organiser Tamika Malloy one of the latest leftists to fall under the sinister Zio glare, as apartheid apologists worldwide got their kosher knickers in a twist after she attended a rally by Nation Of Islam leader, racist Jew-hater and all-round good egg Lucas Farrakhan.

Like #WomensMarch co-founder Linda ‘Cockrat’ Sarsour, feminist Tamika is a long-time admire of Farrakhan, no doubt enchanted by his habit of banning women from speeches, urging them not to wear short skirts, and suggesting they should abandon their careers to stay at home and look after their husbands.

Predictably, right-wing trolls pounced, slandering Tamika as a hypocrite for claiming to fight racism and misogyny while prasing a racist misogynist. Because as we know, black women aren’t allowed to hold unpopular opinions, especially ones that look favourably on someone who once called Hitler ‘a great man’.

Unsurprisingly white supremacy triumphed and Tamika was forced to explain herself in a rambling series of tweets, reaffirming her commitment to opposing bigotry while refusing to condemn the bigot she’d been photographed laughing and smiling with.

But the Zeds wouldn’t let it go, clearly rattled that a black woman had upset the neoliberal applecart by thinking for herself, speaking her mind, and defending a bloke whose version of Islam is so illogically batshit it makes the Qur’an look like A Brief History Of Time.

Still, she stood her ground, surprising no-one by claiming that the criticism she received was because of white privilege or something. A clever tactic seized upon by her cheerleaders, who deflected claims that Farrakhan is no different to white supremacists like Daisy Duke by pointing out the NOI leader lacks the systemic power of the KKK’s Grand Lizard.

Indeed, the closest to systemic power Farrakhan ever gets is when he’s indulged by an assortment of Democrats, such as the marginalised black man who sat in the White House for 8 years. If only Lucas could have enjoyed the systemic power of the widely despised Duke, whose growing army of white-hooded racists would struggle to fill the away end at Croft Park.

Unlike Farrakhan’s fans, who turn out in their droves to hear him speak passionately about The Jewish Problem. And it isn’t just fringe progressives like Tamika who can’t get enough of the cuddly racist; he’s also much loved by Hip-Hop stars past and present including Vanilla Ice and Griff D.

Both of whom were clearly drawn to Farrakhan’s enlightened views on white people. And it’s to Tamika’s credit that while she was at great pains to excuse Farrakhan’s antisemitism, misogyny and homophobia, she and her cheerleaders were perfectly relaxed about his belief that caucasians are a race of devils created in a lab by a mad scientist.

Similarly, left-wing supporters of Tamika who were more than happy to quote the Southern Poverty Law Centre when it called Maajid Johnson an extremist were remarkably quite about the SPLC’s classification of the Nation Of Islam as a hate group.

And that’s because the only way to defeat the Zios is to stoop to their level. Then play even dirtier. We may never know what drew a Hamas-supporting theocrat like Linda Sarsour to support a virulent bow-tied antisemite but who cares? As a Muslim woman and a black man they’re both given a pass, despite the fact they couldn’t be more illiberal if they slit Caitlyn Jenner’s throat and threw her off Stone Mountain while singing Throw The Jew Down The Well.

And it’s thanks to these competing narratives of victimhood that Tamika received widespread support, most touchingly from Shaun King, who proved once again that not all white people are evil. But while it’s all good and well showing solidarity with obscure feminists let’s not forget the many Democrat politicians and former Presidents who’ve also spent years supporting Farrakhan. Because as you’ll see, if we’re to destroy Ziopremacy we’re gonna need all the help we can get.

So with Tamika chewed up and spat out they sunk their teeth into the Angel of Islington. Well, they get itchy beaks if they go more than a week without pecking at him. And the latest assault had the desired effect, convincing braindead Sun-readers that actually, the kind, gentle man leading us out of the darkness is not our saviour but a vicious anti-Semite with a tattoo of Putin’s face on his stomach. Who knew?

And boy, did they aim low, demanding Corbyn explain why until 2015 he was a member of Palestine Love, the secret Facebook group where a diverse bunch of antisemites, Islamists and antisemitic Islamists congregate to discuss everything from the New World Order to Ashgar Bukakke’s missing shoe.

The answer, of course, was simple: while Corbyn was a member he never saw any anti-Semitism, but also left the second he saw some antisemitism. Clean, concise logic yet it still confused pea-brained trolls unversed in cognitive dissonance of the modern left.

But the Zio hounds weren’t having it, gunning for fellow leftists who were also ‘dragged in’ to the group, such as pie-faced economist Paul Mason. Luckily he deflected the attacks on his character like an old pro by saying fuck all and changing the subject. Indeed, when Mason’s membership of the group was revealed he cheekily spent the day bragging about a meeting he attended in Warsaw on Holocaust revisionism. Which funnily enough, is also a hot topic over at Palestine Love. Though only when Paul and Jezza aren’t looking, obvs.

All of which rattled the Zio press, as their vile, slanderous and demonstrably true claims were roundly ignored by people who usually never miss an opportunity to condemn the far-right. Luckily, Corbynites are renowned for their humour, and professional gobshite Aaron Pastrami couldn’t resist breaking the embargo to deliver this absolute sick burn to the Wicked Witch Of Downing Street:

‘I’d say journalists should check out what groups Theresa May might be in, then I remembered this is someone whose idea of a hobby is reading the telephone directory’

Ouch! May can only dream of being as interesting as Aaron, someone who said Labour losing an election was the best night of his life and whose idea of a hobby is hero-worshipping a 68-year-old man.

But aside from that zinger, Aaron kept a low profile. Though not as low as Owen Jones who still hasn’t mentioned Palestine Love despite his recent outrage at vile Tory Dominic Raab for being a member of a secret Facebook group where right-wing ghouls debate sending people to workhouses. Owen wisely ignored the flimsy accusations of hypocrisy as any idiot can see a bunch of creepy Tories discussing the privatisation of council houses is infinitely more sinister than paid up members of the Labour Party accusing The Jews of orchestrating 9/11.

But as with Venezuela and Al Quds Day, what Owen doesn’t say is worth a thousand words. Luckily, the story soon fizzled out, though not before the Zios lined up their next smear, one which OJ would have a lot more to say about. And true to form, when the BBC disgracefully photoshopped a picture of the Dear Leader to make his hat look more Russian, Owen defended Jezza’s honour with passion, commitment and a bucketful of Oxbridge tears.

Indeed, Jezza’s scathing speech to Parliament clearly took its cue from Owen’s identikit Guardian piece which first brought up the entirely unrelated issue of Russian oligarchs funding the Tory Party. His moving column raged against silence from right-wing commentators, no mean feat for someone yet to comment on his hero’s membership of a Facebook group for people who believe shady Jews harvest the corpses of Syrian children.

But it was Jezza’s refusal to accept the Russians may have been responsible which led to the BBC smearing him as a friend of Putin simply because the Dear Leader has spent years going out of his way to avoid criticising him. And to make matters worse it came after the BBC had excelled themselves by completely ignoring the latest tiresome grooming scandal for two days despite the fact it was plastered all over virtually every newspaper.

Of course, they bowed to pressure eventually, inviting one of the Telford ‘victims’ onto The Eileen Derbyshire Show to attack the marginalised Muslims she incited into raping her, AND giving the story prominent coverage on the BBC website just below reports on the death of a 99-year-old comedian and a beagle doing something cute at Krafts.

But still the Islamophobes whined, as if that wasn’t more coverage than this non-story deserved. Indeed, they should be grateful it was reported at all, as it would’ve been cut altogether if something more newsworthy had happened, such as Theresa May pumping during PMQs and blaming it on Jezza.

But I get why they did it. Tories and Zios are simple folk, easy to manipulate despite controlling the entire world. The best way to defeat them is to make them think they’re winning while covertly raising awareness about the much more serious issue of teenage temptresses turning Muslim men into child-abusers.

But if recent history has taught us anything it’s that every time the BBC get something right they go on to get something hideously wrong. True to form, following the Sainsbury’s attack the Zio lobby’s BBC shills doubled down. Which surprised no-one: Lest we forget, this is the channel that broadcast a documentary in 2003 alleging JFK patsy Lee Harvey Osborne was a lone gunman (!). And don’t get me started on those shitty idents propagating the offensive idea that the earth is a sphere (!!). What the sheeple want, the sheeple get.

Needless to say, Owen Jones leapt to Jezza’s defence with a ubiquitous urgency not seen since the last time someone said something beastly about his most favouritest politician ever. Indeed, the way OJ tore through TV studios was reminiscent of that glorious week in 1991 when Nirvana rocked The Word, Top Of The Pops and The Jonathan Ross Show, provided you swapped huge riffs and ripped jeans for hissy fits and cunt-jackets.

But to be frank, this is getting rather tiresome now – some might say ‘old hat’.  Which is why Owen bravely drew a line under the issue, sick to his milk teeth of talking about it despite the fact it was him who brought it up. It had nothing whatsoever to do with the widely circulated proof debunking the wobbly claim that Jezza’s hat was darkened and stretched to make it look more Russian.

And his desire to move on was in no way connected to the fact that two leading proponents of The Hat Theory – Craig Murray and John Clarke – turned out to be wacky conspiracy theorists with some predictably eccentric ideas about Israel and Jews. If your broadband repeatedly went tits-up this week don’t panic – it was caused by the most frantic mass deletion of retweets by leftists since Brendan Cox admitted to being a handsy sex-case.

But that didn’t stop us demanding an apology from the BBC for doing something only a handful of cranks believe they did. We’re still waiting but mark my words, when it comes it’ll be every bit as sweet as the last time we made someone say ‘sorry’ for something they didn’t do. Fingers crossed this starts a trend and Obama apologises for Sandy Hook, Stanley Kubichek admits he faked the moon landing, and the Zio lobby hold their hands up for 9/11, the Kennedy assassination and murdering that alien out of the Ant & Dec film.

Until then, we just have to keep fighting. And happily, there are encouraging signs that the golden utopia in which people are banned from saying stuff we don’t like may become reality sooner than we think, with Scottish YouTube villain Count Dankula – or as I call him, CUNT WANKULA – having been rightly found guilty of a hate crime for teaching his dog to do a Hitler salute. Good.

And in news that will surprise no-one, while Tamika and Jezza are smeared as antisemites for associating with antisemites, a man who isn’t an antisemite but pretended to be one for a laugh becomes the far-right’s latest free speech martyr. Remind me again who the hypocrites are?

But let them have their little strop. The more mud they sling the more powerful we become – see how the assault on Tamika brought new fans into her tight-knit community of brain-damaged Democrats and thick-as-shit celebrities. And as for Corbyn, do you really think he’d let their petty slurs ruin his week? Please. It’ll take more than lies to bring our man down, as demonstrated by the cool way he weathered the whole sorry storm by chillaxing with his bunnies at the Absolute Boy Mansion:

And for the record, the rumour swirling through social media that the lady on the right woke up the next morning to find Jezza showing her off to his mates is entirely without foundation. He was simply trying to unlock her talent, m’lud.

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Bibi.

UPDATE: As if to prove my point, within hours of publishing this piece Mossad sent a time-travelling alien back to 2012 to hack Jezza’s laptop and plant a message on his Facebook page praising an antisemitic mural.

Not only that, on their way back they stopped off in 2015, deploying their Jewish Chronicle co-conspirators to report the Dear Leader’s words and ask the Labour Party for comment; all orchestrated to give the disgraceful impression they’d spent the last three years ignoring the story and hoping it would go away.

Which it would have had the Zios not rubber-stamped their diabolical plan by brainwashing evil Blairite MP Luciana Furburger into exhuming the whole fabricated piece of fiction yesterday morning.

Luckily, Corbyn’s people are old hands at deflecting demonstrably true accusations – especially ones concocted by Israeli timelords – and issued a statement denying any knowledge that the mural was antisemitic, Jezza’s eyes having suffered the same temporary failure they did when he was posting on Palestine Love or giving speeches surrounded by terrorist flags at Kill Jews Day.

Needless to say, Owen Jones spoke for all of us when he tweeted his ‘relief’ that Corbyn had offered a detailed explanation, delighted that the leader of the opposition and his team of advisors had spent hours working on a press release which effectively said ‘I’m not antisemitic – I’m just thick as fuck!’.

And few could doubt the claim that his appreciation for the mural was purely a free speech issue. Indeed, we expect no less from a man who spoke out against the Danish Mohammed cartoons and recently told the British free press he was ‘coming’ for them. (I wish you’d come for me Jeremy. Seriously, I’ll do anything. Anything.)

Because this is what you get with a man as cultured as Jezza, as demonstrated by the fact that his recent excuses appear to have been lifted wholesale from The Simpsons‘ Principal Skinner after he was spotted in Springfield’s burlesque club Maison Derriere: ‘I only went in there to find out how to get out of there!’. And if that’s good enough for OJ it’s good enough for me.

Now, is it too much to ask that we focus on the really offensive stuff? Because it may have escaped everyone’s attention but while Corbyn is being smeared as an antisemite for lauding an antisemitic mural nobody seems to care that YouTube is teeming with non-antisemitic Scottish men teaching their dogs Hitler salutes for a laugh. Priorities, anyone?

Still, at least Jezza managed to ride this out with grace and dignity, unlike the ageist trolls mocking his inability to see antisemitism when it’s staring him in the face. So I’m delighted to share this charming picture of Jezza ignoring the latest smear and settling down to watch his most favourite aquatic thriller Jaws 3.

Kind. Gentle. Cool as fuck.